I am not “it”

Depression & Anxiety
it’s probably not something new to hear about nowadays... you see people talking about it more and more these days. about how it affects your life and the people around you. but I haven’t really seen someone talk about a side i’ve experienced. I’ve grown up in a Christian home. My family was always involved in ministry- whether as the Pastor’s family or just serving in church.

I was blessed to have a this experience and way of growing up.

But also I felt like in a way, I grew up in a spotlight. Being a PK (pastor’s kid), the eyes are on you. You feel like you have to reach a certain high standard. Even just growing up in a very Christian atmosphere, I felt like there were certain standards I had to live up to. When I was younger I believed I had to been seen as perfect, have no problems. You couldn’t have depression or anxiety. That wasn’t something you dealt with as a PK or Christian. It was like an unspoken rule. Nobody talked about these issues in church. It was kind of like a taboo thing. But as I went through middle school and high school, I found myself in a battle. The majority of my life, I’ve dealt with bullying. For one reason or another. During middle school and the beginning of high school I fell into a dark season of depression and anxiety. It effected me pretty hard... but I felt like I had to hide it. The eyes of others had to see me as perfect, having my life together. I wasn’t “allowed” to have depression. I wasn’t “allowed” to be anxious. So of course I tried to cover it up, but every night was a nightmare. The one time I could let down my wall.

>Now let me put a side note in here and say- I’m not saying anything to be against my parents or how I was raised or being a Christian. I wouldn’t trade how I was raised for the world. I love my parents, and I’m proudly a Christian. The reason I’m making this post is solely share my experience and what I learned. Hopefully this speaks to someone...<

After a long battle, I was released from that dark season. (maybe I’ll share that story someday:) ) But as I grew up and out, I realized something that was right in front of me. Every single person is human. All of us, created of flesh and bone. Just because you are a Christian or had a different childhood, doesn’t mean your battles aren’t real or acceptable. Everyone struggles with something at one time or another.  It’s how we overcome that matters. I think we forget sometimes that... It’s normal to be human. But our battles are not our identity.

I am not my depression.

I am not my anxiety.

I am not my wound.

I am not my fear.

I am more.

So in closing- Remember you are not less because you are battling something. You are not your problem. You are not alone.

This is a season. Everyone’s seasons are different and range in time. Remember that no matter how you feel in the moment, You are loved.

You were hand sculpted by God. He breathed life into you. Signed you His.

That never changes.