And still I worship…
One of the many things I miss of my sweet momma, is watching her worship. It was never for show even though she was often in the “spotlight” as a pastor’s wife or leader. When she walked into worship, her whole being entered a place of worship. Her hands stretched towards her Savior and her heart accompanied them. When you watched her, you could tell she was having a moment between her and Jesus. She lead such an example of what worship really is and how it should be approached with heart and mind. The sanctuary didn’t confine her praise, she would stop to worship wherever she was. No matter the circumstances, the atmosphere, or how she was feeling. Nothing could keep hold of her from lifting her hands to Jesus and worshipping. I remember this picture was taken at a time that she was really struggling with her health. She had been fighting a rough battle of Crohn's disease for many years and still served and worshipped. I had the honor of watching her walk through life with grace despite different challenges that met her. I saw her lift her hands, eyes, and heart to her Heavenly Father daily. Even when she was faced with cancer and all the complications that arose, she would stop and praise Jesus for something.
I remember a really difficult day, when she had just gotten some more discouraging news. Tears filled my eyes, as I watched my mom, expecting her to cry the way I was. But instead, she smiled, lifted her hands and let praise come from her lips. Sitting there in our living room, after hearing that things were getting worse, she gave thanks to God. She thanked Him for allowing her to be at home, for the sunshine that peaked through the window, and that she had family around her.
I am still in awe to this day at how she centered her life around her Creator and thanked Him even when there was many reasons to be unhappy. This is the legacy that she has left behind and the example we have for the present.
I am learning more and more to stop, even in the middle of chaos and sorrow, and worship.
We can worship in the pain, the doubt, the confusion, and the sadness. You don’t need to be in a perfect place to worship and have a moment with Jesus. He is present in the valley, on the mountain top, and everywhere between. When chaos strikes to tear you down, lift your hands. When sorrow fills your night, lift your hands.
He is here to guide you, hold you, comfort you, and be present in the struggles.
My sweet momma, you are a constant reminder of this.
Your light still shines among the garden.
I love you, momma.